But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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