and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
false alarm, still single
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
