I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize