Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
