ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
