i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize