my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think people are normalizing furries
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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