Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
