Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.