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Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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