Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here

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  (586): Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here http://tfl.nu/xld2
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  (310): View more from California

  im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

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  (310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon http://tfl.nu/qfy4
  Replies (21) Good night (495) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal

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  (312): Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight. (773): You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal http://tfl.nu/9vmu
  Replies (9) Good night (1565) Bad night (640)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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  (219): I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate? http://tfl.nu/53jf
  Replies (15) Good night (5591) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.

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  (484): No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/e8p3
  Replies (27) Good night (4829) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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  (937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0
  Replies (25) Good night (598) Bad night (7498) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.

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  (918): WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/fz7p
  Replies (9) Good night (1082) Bad night (3866) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'

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  (512): Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob' http://tfl.nu/rohh
  Replies (17) Good night (1011) Bad night (2220) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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  (618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71
  Replies (11) Good night (1182) Bad night (3055)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1493) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  U took a sewing needle to his nipple

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Psshh,

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  (201): U took a sewing needle to his nipple (1-201): Psshh, http://tfl.nu/q54n
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.

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  (970): Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/jvs7
  Replies (9) Good night (962) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.

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  (724): I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked. http://tfl.nu/4abp
  Replies (9) Good night (342) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.

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  (303): Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jbty
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (245)
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  (562): View more from California

  New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.

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  (562): New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches. http://tfl.nu/v2w2
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt

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