Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
