dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing