the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
