who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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