operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
