just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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