if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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