I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize