At least make sure they are 18
Why
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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