I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
