One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
