is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
NoShamevember. You game?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
