somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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