It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
