Kiss
Puke
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude. I can hear the air.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
