You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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