i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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