do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
