I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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