You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MIDGETS
????
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
