Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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