So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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