I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
