Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Holy sore nipples Batman
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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