Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
