She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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