I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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