We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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