And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
