Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So much Jack, so little girl.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
