How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
