We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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