I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have feelings that need drinking.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
