Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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