Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize