im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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