i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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