p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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