it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am midnight drunk by noon
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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