How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
