i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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