I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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