I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
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all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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