But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
