Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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