This girl is more easily done than said...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
