I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sober January is a disaster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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