i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
