You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
