I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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